The Center for Prevention of Abuse - Information for Parents

Just for Teens: Information for Parents

Given that 1 in 3 teens experience dating violence and 6% of girls and 11% of boys experiencing severe abuse tell an authority figure, it is important that parents are aware of the warning signs and know how to educate their teens about healthy relationships in order to prevent dating violence.

Know the early warning signs that your teen is in an abusive relationship.

Giving up activities that used to be important, such as extracurricular activities, and becoming more isolated from friends
Weight, appearance, and grades have changed dramatically
Injuries that can't be explained or explanations that don't make sense
Decreased self-esteem/confidence; difficulty making decisions
Hearing verbal abuse from the dating partner, such as derogatory comments

If you suspect that your teen is in an abusive relationship, talk about it.

When sharing your concerns with your teen, use concrete examples of "red flag" behaviors that you've noticed, those behaviors that signify an unhealthy relationship.
Be understanding and take time to listen. Do not be judgmental or upset with your teen, who is probably scared and confused about what to do and about your reaction. Let your teen know that the abuse is not their fault and that together you can work on a plan to keep everyone safe.
While talking with your teen, share information and resources that will help in understanding the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship. Your goal is to help your teen recognize that a healthy relationship is not an abusive relationship.
Understand that you cannot make your teen end the relationship, as much as you may want the relationship to end. Taking this approach could only isolate your teen further from you and the help that s/he needs. Your support and encouragement, however, could make all the difference in helping your teen take the courageous step to end the relationship.
Help your teen develop a safety plan, if s/he has decided to break up with the abuser. Ultimately, a successful safety plan is one that makes the teen feel safe, so listen to what she needs and try to make those accommodations. See the page on Safety Planning for additional ideas.

For more information on helping your teen through a violent dating relationship, contact The Center for Prevention of Abuse at (309) 691-0551 or 1-800-559-7233(SAFE). If you are interested in learning more about preventing teen dating violence, Prevention Educators are available to speak with local parent groups. Ask for the Prevention Department when you call.

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