The Center for Prevention of Abuse - How To Help A Friend

Just for Teens: How To Help A Friend

Having a friend involved in an abusive dating relationship can be scary, and you may feel helpless to do anything for your friend. While you can't make your friend break up with the abuser, there are some things that you can do to provide support and let your friend know that there are other options.

Listen when your friend is ready to talk. Avoid being judgmental and keep your emotions in check. This is your friend's time to vent. Even though you may feel anger towards the abuser, any violent displays of emotion from you will make your friend feel uncomfortable.
Help your friend recognize signs that the relationship is unhealthy. For example, if your friend mentions that a dating partner is constantly texting and becoming demanding, point out that these behaviors sound like someone who is becoming possessive and controlling - not someone who is respecting your friend's dating rights.
Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult for help. While you can assist your friend in developing a safety plan should your friend decide to break up with the abuser, it is important that an adult know about the abuse so that they can take additional measures to keep your friend safe. Offer to go with your friend as extra support when they confide in an adult. Telling someone about the abuse can be difficult and painful, and being there for your friend can help a lot.
Being a supportive friend means being focused on what your friend says s/he needs, not what you think your friend needs. Decisions about safety planning and confiding in others about the abuse need to come from your friend, not from you. You can help by providing options and information, but it is important that the power and control taken from your friend by the abuser is returned back to her.
Be prepared to share the information that you've learned on this website with your friend, and give contact information to The Center for Prevention of Abuse - (309) 691-0551 or 1-800-559-7233(SAFE).

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