The Center for Prevention of Abuse

Just for Teens: The Red Flags

Do you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner's behavior? Are there times when your dating partner scares you, threatens you, or makes you do things you don't want to do? Trust your instincts - if your dating relationship just doesn't "feel right", then it probably isn't a healthy dating relationship. Know the "red flags" that indicate your dating partner is abusive.

Is your dating partner someone who...

Is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, doesn't take your opinion seriously?
Is scary? Do you worry about how this person will react to things you say or do? Does this person threaten you, use or own weapons?
Is violent? Does this person have a history of fighting, losing his/her temper, bragging about mistreating others?
Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary about sex? Thinks that women or girls are sex objects. Attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying, 'If you really loved me, you would.' or gets too serious about the relationship too fast for comfort?
Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
Blames you when you are mistreated? Says you provoked it?
Has a history of bad relationships, and blames the other person for all the problems?
Believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive?
Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked, or physically abused you?
Prompts your family or friends to be concerned about your safety?

If this sounds like your dating partner - or your friend's dating partner - know that help is available. Get more information from the links on the left, or call The Center for Prevention of Abuse at (309)691-0551 or 1-800-559-7233(SAFE).

Questionnaire taken from the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault "Inside The Classroom" curriculum, which was adapted from: Mount Auburn Hospital Prevention and Training Center in Waltham and the Dating Violence Project in Cambridge

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