The Center for Prevention of Abuse - Breaking Up & Staying Safe

Just for Teens: Breaking Up & Staying Safe

Making the decision to leave an abusive dating partner is tough. That person has probably threatened to hurt you or someone else if you ever break up - and may have even threatened suicide. The truth is that leaving an abusive partner is a dangerous time, but there are some things you can do to stay safe - like developing a safety plan that involves not only you, but your family and friends as well.

Tips for developing a safety plan:

Think about your daily routine and what changes would make you feel safer. If you normally walk to school or work alone, consider catching a ride with a friend.
Keep your plan simple but thoughtful. For example, make sure you have your cell phone with you at all times with speed dial settings for police, and never go anywhere alone.
Know your legal rights. You may file for an order of protection against an abusive dating partner which will make his/her contact with you a criminal violation. Court advocates are available through The Center for Prevention of Abuse to answer your questions about obtaining an order of protection.
Talk to adults you trust about the abuse. If the abuser attends school with you, the administrators can help make accommodations for your safety plan, but you have to talk with them and ask for help. Parents can also help you formulate a safety plan, and it's important to communicate a plan with them in case the abuser calls the house or shows up on your doorstep.

Use this Safety Plan Worksheet and share it with friends and adults who can help you put your plan into action.

Ideas to consider when developing your own safety plan:

Consider changing your school locker or lock and your route to/from school
Use a buddy system for going to school, classes, and after-school activities
If stranded, who could you call for a ride home? Do you have their numbers programmed into your cell phone?
Keep a journal describing the abuse. Any documentation you can keep about the abuse and/or stalking will help you in taking legal action against the abuser.
Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, pagers, or cell phones the abuser gave you. Instruct your friends to keep your new numbers private.
Keep spare change, calling cards, your cell phone, the hotline number to The Center for Prevention of Abuse (1-800-559-SAFE), numbers of people who could help you, and your restraining order with you at all times.
Plan for where you could go quickly to get away if the abuser shows up.

Adapted from The Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of Family Resources, Inc., 2002.

For help with safety planning or questions about obtaining an order of protection, contact The Center for Prevention of Abuse at (309) 691-0551 or 1-800-559-7233(SAFE).

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